September 2020: Fear
Starting September 2020, I will be creating a monthly series around various topics. The goal is to walk you through a process to help alleviate your concerns surrounding the topic of the month. This blog post explains that fear is always part of life.
There’s Nothing Wrong with You
Comparisons are easy. Getting down on yourself due to others’ actions or words is easy. What I taught you in Part I is that everyone around you is dwelling in their own fears. Their fears may be different than yours. Regardless, everyone is walking around campus carrying and hiding their fears.
What if fear is a part of being human? What if we are all supposed to feel fear in our lives?
Don’t do This
If you understand that fear is always part of life, perhaps that can lessen the impact. Unfortunately, one of the impacts of being afraid can be self-defeat. Too often, students get down on themselves and engage in negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk can take several forms, such as “I’m not as smart as them; I should know these things; why can’t I figure this out, etc.” Blaming yourself for being fearful adds a layer of self-defeat on top of being afraid. It is one thing to be fearful – it’s another thing to beat yourself up about being fearful.
Be Willing to Accept
I’d like to suggest you stop the negative self-talk surrounding your fears. Rather, accept your being afraid as part of being human. In other words, embrace the idea that fear is always part of life. All humans have flaws, all humans are afraid, and that’s okay.
There is no upside to the negative judgment of yourself. Fear is going to follow you, so you might as well get used to it.
Helpful Hint #2: Being human means being afraid, and it’s okay. Click here to view Part III.