Post #93 Self-Respect is Key
“I wish I would have done better … Did I make so-and-so mad … what if I let others down?” Too often, questions like these haunt as you reflect on previous choices. You want to be your best, but it’s tough as the self-doubt consumes you. Self-doubt comes from a lack of self-respect. What can you do to gain self-respect, and how does it make you better?
What does Self-Respect Look Like?
Self-respect includes admitting mistakes, owning up to them, and learning from them. It includes the ability to back yourself up and trust yourself, especially when others disagree. Self-respect means you value yourself so much that others’ opinions don’t rock your boat. It’s when you recognize that your talents, abilities and strengths are invaluable. Self-respect includes recognition of your humanity that is 100% worthy despite all failures or mistakes. There is no better feeling in the world than the love you can give to yourself. If you want to be your best, it starts with building a healthy relationship with yourself.
Prior to earning the self-respect you deserve, create space in your mind to meet yourself where you are. Be present with who you are. In other words, the prerequisite to building your self-respect starts with accepting yourself with who you are in the moment. Are you okay with you, exactly as you are, in all your flaws, imperfections and faults? This is where self-care and self-compassion become essential tools. Too often, people dwell on all the things that are “wrong” with themselves. What if you viewed those things not as wrong, but as things that make you perfectly you? Celebrate and accept your flaws – those are what make you human!
How to Start
“So, how do I gain all that respect for myself?” you ask. I’d like to compare this question to, “How do I train for a marathon?” You start slowly, you practice, build stamina and you don’t give up. Building self-respect requires self-awareness. It requires an understanding of your thinking and why. This self-reflection exercise can reveal both the good and the ugly within, and that can be a tough cookie to swallow. It requires lots of thought work, time and the ability to utilize self-compassion. Building self-respect doesn’t happen in a short timeframe. It is a time-consuming process that challenges you to face your weaknesses and process feelings, however they may hurt. It is my specialty, it is what I do. Send me a request if you want help.
As human beings, we are inherently flawed. To be your best, work towards loving and respecting yourself BECAUSE of all your flaws, not in spite of them!
For additional tools and brain exercises to help you manage your COVID-19 circumstances, visit my YouTube video: Managing Student Life During COVID-19.